Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Feeling again

I'm feeling better since you know me
I was a lonely soul but that's the old me
A little wiser now but you show me
Yeah, I feel again
Feel again...

There was nothing better than getting the news earlier this month that I was cancer free. To hear my doctor to tell me to go out and live and love made me feel like a brand new person. I have waited over a year to confirm that I was still in remission. Did I have doubts, yes I did. But who isn't after I have I gone through.

I have finished packing for my trip to Hawaii and am going to take off tomorrow. I have never been to Hawaii and really look forward to getting some relaxation and sun. There is nothing like getting some sun. I know, where my sunscreen. Don't you worry my mom will be there and will I am sure be more than happy to put me on a clock to reapply. I love her, it is because of her that we are taking this trip. It is the first time ever that we have taken a family trip. Good thing I like all of them. This is her treat to us, me, Charlene, Derek, Ross and Scott for all their support that they have given me in the last year and half. Without them I don't know what I would do. I don't think about those things. No need to.

I am starting to live again and it feels amazing.

I had a co-worker come up to me today and tell me that she had read on Facebook that I was cancer free and it made her so happy. She tried to explain how connected she had felt to me because 5 years ago she was sick and in her country they didn't know what was wrong. She said she was in the hospital for 40 days. Oh boy do I know how that feels. I just wanted to hug her and tell her that everything is going to be okay. It is one of the main reasons I have decided to write today.

How can we better each other lives? How can we get rid of the bad from our past? I have come to terms with what has happened in my life. I still have people that I don't want anything to do with and really don't care what ever happens to them. But I don't spend any of my energy on them or looking back. By no means am I perfect. I have a mouth that can't seem to shut. I love to express myself.  Anyways, moving forward. I would love for everyone to be happy all the time. I would love for no one to feel pain. These things, I can only do by sharing my positive energy with others. I can hug you everyday. I can tell a corny joke. I can make you laugh 10 times a day. I can dance around like a white girl. Did I make you smile yet? The one person that needs to be happy is yourself. If you can't find happiness within yourself then you can't share with others.

I can tell you that my relationship with Ross is like no other. I try not to compare to others. I have been told that what Ross and I have gone through is something that people that have been together 30 years might go through. Where I am going with this is...tell your partner that you love them. Tell them how special they are. Communicate always. Tell them your feelings good or bad. Spend time with them and nothing else around. Don't take each other for granted. Look into their eyes and give them a compliment. Kiss them on the cheek. There are so many small things to do to make another feel better, they don't even have to be down. I am not an expert in relationships but I understand the importance of sharing feelings because you never know what the future is going to hold.

I can't wait for what my future holds. There are so many changes going to be taking place in the next year. Then from there you never know what is ahead. So many questions, oh change how I will take you.

Live, love and laugh!! Those are the only things that you need to remember. Try to do it everyday. Keep positive!

With love,

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