April and May

April really started for me on the 21st of March, when I got out of the hospital. While I was in the hospital my family had to move me out of my place because my best friend Jayme worked at a preschool and I couldn't risk getting sick. So instead of going back to the home I knew and my bed that I loved so much I was going to be living with my mom, stepdad and sister. I had never lived in Hillsboro before and didn't want to live all the way out there away from everyone but I didn't have any other choices. Don't get me wrong, it was a very nice set up. We each had our own room, I had all my tv shows and dvds, and Charlene and I shared a TV in the living room. At first I was really weak and could barely do anything on my own. You really have to swallow your pride when have to have a caregiver. There is nothing like giving up your independence. I couldn't bathe by myself and Charlene would have to cover up my PICC line everyday and help me get into the shower. I bet you didn't know that I had to change my sheets at least once a week and had to use a different towel everyday for the risk of catching something. I couldn't use a hand towel to dry off my hands, only paper towels, again risk of catching something. I wasn't allowed to make my own food. When I mean make my own food, I wasn't allowed to pour myself a bowl of cereal. I wasn't allowed to touch the boxes or cans that the food came in. Some many restrictions and yet I was happy to be alive and spending time with my family and Ross. The hardest part about being in Hillsboro was the lack of friends that came to see me. My closest friends would come and see me and I love them so much for all their support. It was lonely during the day when Charlene would go to the gym and run errands, but everyone lives their lives and I understand it was a long drive for most.
I went through another round of chemo in mid-April to make sure that the cancer was still in remission and to prepare the transplant. Then came all the tests. Who knew that there was so many tests that you have to do to make sure that your body is ready to go through a transplant. We even had to go to a class on how to live after the transplant, but again they still didn't teach me with the emotions that I was going to go through. It is all by the book and straight forward which I love, but it is such a small part of what you have to deal with. These were probably the two easiest months for me. There was a lot to do and keep me busy. I built my strength back up and felt like a normal person except without the hair. I had a great party 2 days before I went in for my transplant. I really love all my family and friends that have shown so much support throughout the last year. It is the small gatherings that I have that really make me smile. I have learned to not take for granted the small amount of time that I spend with anyone. I love to make people laugh and brighten their day. I try to write down 5 things each day that I am thankful for. It is amazing what small things that you really learn to appricate. Look at the small things and the big things because it the big things that can bring us the joy too. Next will be about the transplant and Team and Training.